The Story Of The Missing Pants...
Rodja took me on a tour of Castries, the capital of St Lucia, today...
I trained very hard in his second studio there... So hard, that I was glancing at the clock feeling relieved the end was nearing! I knew he had another client arriving too, when, instead of ending, he handed me over to Delan his trainer there... So that I could carry on, and do more....!
I did enjoy the session a lot though, and Delan was encouraging and kind, as I melted into an exhausted pool of sweat before his eyes...
We were in Castries for another guest appearance on the radio show, this time to talk about running... We arrived at the radio station and Rodja was very much in demand. He was first called into a programme to talk about the fitness challenge he has created for Easter weekend. I went in with him and sat and watched and listened. We then went into our studio, where he met and talked to 'Mr Paintball' of St Lucia about a collaboration of their businesses - they were meeting for the first time on air....
And then he and I talked about running... He mentioned that he is doing exercises with me because I am learning to run again... He continued that he thinks the compensation he has seen in my left leg is psychological...
I was able to say - on air - that he is accurate; that I have been unravelling a deep wound in my left side for half my lifetime now...
I briefly told the story of hurting my left leg before I ran in the Commonwealth games, and I spoke of my public failure to finish at twenty miles...
This doesn't obviously affect me at all now, it is part of my life story and I have no attachment to it. However I am aware that there is some scar tissue in my emotional body, and that I am on a quest to break it down, and break through....
The subtlety of scar tissue both physically and emotionally, is that it can mean we still run with a weakness and the risk of re injury, even when we do not feel the pain anymore...
This hasn't meant that I haven't run, or run well in this time, but I have often been injured, mainly on the left side...
When I was thirty eight years old I decided to really 'go into' the locked in pain. I had returned to running and competition after five years away from international running. Even then, for the last few years at top level, I had been 'dragging my left leg' - still running fast times... Which surprises me, on reflection given the restriction in my leg ... But the times did come out...
So, I'd left my running for five years and just kept fit... I then returned with keenness recognising that the running path still beckoned me...
So I put the miles in and turned out some reasonable times again, 17min 5k, 35min 10k and a 78min half Marathon, (all plus some seconds which I have forgotten!) but then my leg locked again... I was aware there was a psychosomatic element to my wounds then, and this was when I discovered Paul Hide, a hypnotherapist. We did some great work together, and I found my sessions with him to be transformative. We still work together now, when our paths cross...
I then found Dr Nick Webborn - renowned sports doctor - and Rob Harley and Mark Burnley, sports physiologists and scientists at the university of Brighton - this amazing trio helped me hugely...
The first treatment with Nick was a serious affair; Rob and Mark came with me and I was introduced to Dr - now Professor - Nick Webborn.
I went into a little room to change into my shorts and the treatment ensued... I went back into the little room to change back into my jeans to find that my pants seemed to have vanished..!.
I popped my head round the door to where the three were waiting for me... 'Ive lost my pants...' I announced... The laughter between us all cemented our friendships in that instant...
The pants have never been found....!
And so this is the way it has been, some great running, applying myself fully which has always revealed where there I am still wounded, and locked into my own patterns.
My path has been rich with the relationships and the friends I have made as I journey...
There have been glorious times of triumph, and free flowing running, miles of training runs with friends; as well as the healers and teachers along the way that have helped me reveal me to me....
After we left the studio Rodja took it upon himself to be my guide of the capital of his country...
We walked and talked about sport, about psychology, about the economy of the island, about the attitudes here, the people, differences and similarities, about how we know we are ourselves without our bodies, our identities, the things we define ourselves by - about his own business plans...
As we walked I took photos of the city. He showed me the landmarks, pointed out the Houses of Parliament, the City Hall - the enormous cruise ship sitting in the harbour.
I was about to take a photo of the main highway...
'How about I take one of you with 'the toilet paper seller man' he suggested...
I went over to the man and asked if that was okay? He nodded and then put his thumb and fore finger against mine...
'What does this mean ?' I asked...
'It is a Godly sign' he said...
'It means peace'.