Setting Off On The Road To The Half Ironman Triathlon

About Julie Honess

Outside of my general day job, I am an amateur runner and recently converted triathlete.

I have been running for over 15 years, competing in races from 5k to half marathon. A few years ago I sustained a knee injury which meant I had to reduce my running and I started swimming a bit more. This led to me buying a road bike and now I have competed in four triathlons. Running is still my first love and I continue to take part in races, focusing on 10k recently.

I am still learning so much about both sports, and most importantly about myself. I have suffered from a lack of coinfidence in myself, and a feeling of 'not being good enough' in all aspects of my life.

My sport often gives me reason to believe that statement! As well as many opportunities to face up to it and strive to move beyond it.

Half Iron Man...

My decision to compete in a Half Ironman Triathlon next year has been made for a variety of reasons. I'm not sure any of them are the 'right' reasons, but I guess there is no such thing as a 'right' reason. We all have our own reasons for our decisions.

I have competed in a couple of sprint triathlons this year and have really enjoyed them. I have always had it in my mind to move up distances to an Olympic distance but, I have struggled a bit on the bike and  so that aspect of the race worried me.

But it was always there in my head to move up, but  I felt I needed more experience and better results at shorter distances first...

This started to change when a few of my training friends entered Half Ironman and full Ironman events in September this year.

I started to wonder if I could do it...

I have always struggled with confidence in my abilities. I have suffered a lot with feelings of  not being good enough or getting things 'wrong'. In my youngers days this would stop me from doing things. I wouldn't join clubs or groups or even go out much with friends.

As I have got older this feeling is still there, but I try things anyway!

 I think the saying goes 'Feel the fear, and do it anyway'.

Sometimes it is harder then others...

When Julia asked me to write this for her new website I was plagued with fear of getting it wrong or letting her down. I still am! But I have learnt to try to say 'yes' more and step out of that comfort zone and embrace the fear zone..

So with this in mind I started to think about the half iron man.

 I knew I could cover the distances in swimming and running, the bike was still a worry for me but the seed was starting to grow in my mind...

The days came for my friends to compete in their events. It was a strange coincidence that they were all competing in diffrent events, in different parts of the country (and one in another country), all on the same day!

I was excited to hear of their progress, checking Facebook regularly for updates. But I also had an overwhelming feeling that I was missing out. I had serious race envy! I wanted to be racing! They were doing such amazing things.

 Ironman and Half Ironman are great athletic achievements, and I wanted to be part of that.

I wanted to stretch myself to see what I could do, to feel like I had really acheived something. But at the same time I was thinking 'but what if im not good enough, what if I let people down'. Other aspects of life had been leaving me feeling stuck in a rut, and feeling that I wanted to break free of the daily monotony to prove to myself I am good enough.

So when the Half in Shropshire was mentioned to me by a friend, I knew I wanted to be involved.

It's a flat course which is ideal for a first time, with a lake swim, so no worry of rough seas and strong tides. After a few discussions with some friends, we all booked our places and now its real!! It's not until August 2015, so there is plenty of time to get more confidence on the bike and bring all the elements together...including my belief that I can do it!!

Since I clicked that button to enter the race, I have felt excited and a renewed purpose for training and life in general.

I had a minor set back the day after I signed up. I was competing in a local 10k that I had been training for, for a few months. and after 3 miles I had to give up the race.

I have never done that before in over 10 years of racing, but I was struggling to keep my pace and was getting dizzy spells after over heating. There was no way I could finish. I was utterly devastated. I started to question how could complete a Half Ironman when I couldnt even run 10k!

I wanted to shrink back into that 'Julie Cave' where I don't try anything new, its all safe and I cant disappoint anyone. That day I felt I had disappointed people because I had given up and not pushed through. And I really did not feel good enough.

After a bit of crying and some words of encouragement from friends, I started to feel better. I knew I needed to put it behind me, learn from it and move forward.

I didn't want to let it pull me down into a spiral of self doubt. So I did my best to accept it, and move on. It was also pointed out to me that I could have an iron deficiency, as I was struggling with fatigue when exerting myself, and I have experinced this In training a few times. I don't want to use that as an excuse to not continue or as an easy way out of doing something that scares me, so I will visit my GP and deal with that to enable me to continue on this amazing journey...