The Journey Of Self Discovery...
We thought a swim in the pool that overlooks the mountains might be a lovely restorative start to the day after our very long, hot, hilly adventure yesterday...
It has however remained but a thought, an idea not acted on. Anadi and I sat chatting on the terrace and instead of swimming decided on breakfast in the village... Spanish omelette, orange juice and coffee...
I had vague murmurings within me that 'active rest' is more effective in helping recovery than rest rest... But rest rest won, and as the day has unfolded, I have engaged in occasional bouts of stretching and rest rest is feeling good...
When I think of an idea that doesn't come to fruition, I see how this happens often in our lives, and a person's creativity and expression does not get out into the world. This occurs because of all sorts of limiting beliefs and distraction and reasons why someone finds it difficult to turn their ideas into action
In general I am an idea into action person, and have always seen the truth of these words, which I think were said by Thomas Eddison... "Ideas without execution are hallucinations."
So my swim today was but a hallucination...!
But of course the quality of ideas that do manifest depends on the clarity from which they emerge...
Are they coming from the truth of who we are, or from our created self?
One of my tendencies that did not support me, was to follow ideas, that had I really investigated them, knew deep down to be not the right way to go... And another tendency was to keep on being active, when 'body' said 'no' and asked for rest...
Both of those tendencies have had huge impact in the negative... Charging down a route which the deeper self is crying out not to go down, is inevitably going to 'end in tears'...
In my case, I have always eventually 'got out of' the 'wrong turnings', the decisions based, in my case usually, on pleasing another person... For instance I started to train as a nurse to please my Dad (he never asked me to train to be a nurse!) and I knew on day one that I had made a mistake...
I walked back through Bristol in tears, knowing in my deepest knowing self that I was on the wrong path...
It took me nine months to get out...
Some people never get out of a created life, based on trying to be what others want, or a believed idea they have internalised about themselves. The perceived self often comes from our childhood conditioning and stories, the programming we have internalised in these years....
It wasn't easy to keep getting out of things I had begun with enthusiasm, always with the intent to be 'approved of' 'to feel okay about myself'
How can we possibly feel okay about ourself when we are not being our self?
The most important thing we can do is to commit to knowing who we are...
There is nothing else that matters, because from this place all that emerges will be in alignment with who we truly are and so will be of greater value to others.
In the words of Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi... "A leader will find it difficult to articulate a coherent vision unless it expresses his core values, his basic identity. One must first embark on the formidable journey of self-discovery in order to create a vision with authentic soul."
Later...
I am sitting on a step in the shade under a cherry tree.
The breeze is blowing softly through the leaves and I am shielded a little from the suns hot intense attention...
The truth is I welcome her spotlight, her light so bright that she shines on anything that needs to go, to melt away under her heat and leave me free to simply live each moment.
In love only with the moment and life, knowing the truth is that no person or thing can make me happy or unhappy.
It is the living of this truth that sets us free...
But to experience this freedom there is no end to turning the bright light of self scrutiny on ourselves at all times; 'to embark on the formidable journey of self discovery...'
Unless we are honest with ourselves about every single thread of attachment we have to the wounds of our past; and look closely at anything that will prevent us from healing, because we are using it as a distraction from our own truth, then we cannot be free.
Instead we live caught up in the incessant chatter and stories in our minds...