Out On The Bike Building My Confidence

Julie Honess is writing a monthly report of her journey to compete in a half ironman event in Shropshire in August 2015...

Here she tells us about herself and writes about the challenges she faces in month two of her training programme...

Outside of my general day job, I am an amateur runner and recently converted triathlete.

I have been running for over 15 years, competing in races from 5k to half marathon. A few years ago I had a knee injury which meant I had to reduce my running and started swimming a bit more. This led to me buying a road bike and now i've competed in 4 triathlons. Running is still my first love and I continue to take part in races,  and have been focusing on 10k.

I am still learning so much about both sports and importantly about myself. I am someone who has suffered with a lack of coinfidence in myself, and and feeling of 'not being good enough', through all aspects of my life.

My sport often gives me reason to believe that statement, but also many opportunities to face up to it and try to move beyond it.

I never used to be a person that minded the change in season. I looked forward to the leaves browning and the beautiful colours of autumn.

The slightly cooler days were always better for my running, as I would struggle on those very hot, mid-summer days. 

And, of course, the change in season used to mean that Christmas was on its way and I used to love the build up to that.

However, the last few years have been different.

Although I still enjoy seeing the natural change of our environment, falling leaves, muddy trails, cooler, fresher air, I can't help but feel a sadness as I see the days start to get shorter, and those weekends that seemed endless, when I couldn't decide whether I wanted to run, cycle or sea swim.

I would often end up doing all three, just because I didn't want to waste those beautiful days. 

Friends would suggest numerous activities, a ride at 2pm, a swim at 4pm.

I may have already done a long run over the Downs, but I would agree to them all because I wanted to fill each day, always knowing that winter was just around the corner. I'd finally sit down at home, as the sun was going down, happy that I hadn't wasted a moment's sunshine.

If friends planned activities when I was at work, I would sulk because I was stuck in an office while they could go and 'play'.

It was so unfair!

So now winter approaches and the days are shorter.

Running at this time of year has never been a problem for me. I don't mind that it is dark. It's a struggle to know what to wear, as before you start its slightly cooler, but after ten minutes of running I'm so hot I'm taking off layers.

And, of course, there is the yearly contest of who will be the first to ditch the shorts for the running tights!

The main thing I need to keep up over the winter months is my riding.

That's what I struggle with, when it's cold and wet.

Running and swimming are fine; I'm not put off by cold weather, but the motivation to ride does start to wain slightly.

The half iron man in August next year seems such a long way off at this moment.

However in reality nine months is not that long, and although no specific training has started, I need to make sure I don't lose sight of it.

And I do need to make sure I keep my bike fitness up, my main reason to keep riding through winter is to increase my confidence.

I have issues with taking on nutrition while riding; or, more specifically, moving my hands off the handle bars to actually take a water bottle out of its holder, or reach into my back pocket for some food.

It's a strange thing I've developed since getting the bike :) I put it down to road bikes being so light, that I think I'm going to lose balance.

But, whatever the reason is, I need to get past it.

There is no way I can ride the fifty six miles of a half ironman without taking on fluid or food.

The ride is the best time to take on nutrition during these events as it's much easier to fuel on the bike than it is when swimming or running...or it should be!

So each time I go out on the bike now, I challenge myself to do different things.

Sometimes it's to have at least three drinks from my bottle whilst riding; even if they are just sips, I cannot stop the bike.

Other times, it's to ride in my drops (this is the lower bit of the handle bar that makes you more aerodynamic). Or, I have to take alternate hands off the handle bars, just to make me feel more confident that I'm able to keep control.

They may sound like silly things, but I have to get over these things by next August.

I've been ignoring these little issues for a while, because it was a bit scary to deal with them, and I could get by without them affecting me too much.

But now I have to deal with it, and I'm quite excited by the thought of testing myself. I already see an improvement in my confidence and I know that I can't let the fear take over.

It's not an option.

So first thing in the morning, armed with new lights, cycling tights and winter tyres, I'll be out on the bike. Building my confidence.