'See no evil, Hear no evil, Speak no evil...
The streets are alive, we have sat here, in a new bar, with much better internet... much better for our work… for the past four hours.
There is a background sound of people's voices and bicycle bells ringing as they wind their way through the narrow streets packed with wandering people.
The beat of music is vibrating through the floor from the bar across the road.
I am in a foreign land on so many levels, I feel at ease within it all... now.
My spirit feels clear and embracing of all that opens before me as I journey to new unfamiliar places; new places I did not know before, which are offering me the opportunity to open new spaces within myself.
Earlier I didn't feel good…
I felt like I didn't want to be on this island that on some levels has an energy that still feels sad and devastated...
But I didn't want to go anywhere else.
I didn't want to be here, but there was no there that I wanted to go to...
I said to Anadi when we first came here two day ago 'this place has funny energy, it feels like of a lot of bad things have happened...'
I had not connected it up with the Tsunami as I had forgotten which Islands were most affected..
We were sitting chatting and drinking coffee and I said that I have a feeling of counting the days till we leave; and Anadi said 'You don't like it here?' I shook my head tearfully!
‘We don't have to stay’ he said...
'I know’, I said 'but it's me not the island' if I were completely clear the sadness, a feeling of being defeated, of loss, that feels to still be present here wouldn't touch those feelings within me.
The energy here gets to those aspects unhealed in me and I want to clear that pain in me...'
We talked some more and drank coffee together,
We have discovered as we have journeyed together as a couple that there are areas that Anadi is working with that where I am clear and free; and that there are areas that I am working with where he is clear.
We have been able to work though many things together this way, and if our wounds have collided then we also have an awareness of what is going on.
I know that anything at all that emerges has emerged for healing, so even if I am not feeling that good at the time, a part of me welcomes the opportunity for the clearing; the opening of more space within me to be free of the old limiting stuff from wounds in the past…
Although he understands what I see and feel in this island, and finds the energy has undercurrents that are dark, he does not feel sad within.
We were taking with Mel this morning who owns the Sunflower Bar. She came as a volunteer after the Tsunami and there are photos in the bar of the repair job; amazing photos, photos that demonstrate to the indomitableness of the human spirit - inspiring evidence of rebirth after death; the cycle of life, birth, death and rebirth ever continuous…
She has a daughter that was born out of the union of her and Ben who lost most of his family in the disaster, a little six year old girl who runs around born out of the loss; a part of the rebirth.
Mel said that many people rose and fought and lived, but many of the survivors did not truly survive, they lost so much and lost themselves too and have never recovered…
Now as I sit here with the night life building, party time again, I feel still inside again and I can feel the energy of the island that is positive, the survival energy, the absolute refusal to be beaten, the colour, the vibrancy, the determination, the fun, the freedom, the beauty…
And I know that all of this is within me too.
The earlier sadness has cleared and I feel lighter…
I am reminded that our work on this planet is to be the change we want to see.
The universe is a reflection of all that is within us in motion
And so to be the change we want to see, we must always look within, to clear all the energy that holds us back from our own re birth, our own on-going creativity… doing what we love, loving what we do, trusting that if we clear from any attachment to our past pain, the way forward will reveal itself as this amazing little island is continuing to find out…
Everywhere we of there is evidence of development and building and new possibility.
I was sitting in the bar and looked across and saw a man holding a monkey… We walked over to him and he gave me the monkey; I loved the monkey!
As we sat watching the beach party life building, eating our Thai green curry, I looked up monkey totem on the internet…
This is what it said…
Dark and Light
The Monkey represents the dark side of the human psyche,
but also holds the key to right living.
See no evil, Hear no evil, Speak no evil.
The ability to see both the dark and the light may unexpectedly enrich and strengthen.
The Monkey totem is creative and imaginative.
It can lead you into a deeper study of the origins of the human species
and the examination of ancient wisdom.
Its agile mentality provides you with inspiration and insight when you most need it.