It's Happening...
I was awake at 5.12 today - I had set my alarm for 5am - but in the middle of the night, I woke up and suddenly decided to change it and give myself another twelve minutes!
I was speaking to Amy at 5.30 - 9.30 UK time - so I did a swift getting dressed and coffee making exercise in the dark, before going out into the warm morning air....
Amy and I then had 'FaceTime' with me silhouetted for a while, before the morning raced in, in its usual fashion; in an enthusiastic burst of golden clouds and then like the light being turned on, day was here and Amy and could see all the greenery around me waving in the breeze ....
The rooster had been persistently crowing, loudly too, and once morning had danced in i was able to show him to Amy...
He was with two hens and four chicks (sadly down from seven a few days ago) - 'Are those his girlfriends?' Amy asked as I pointed the iPad at their progression up the path... 'Yes' I said confidently, having watched him for a few weeks I appear to have become an authority on his personal life!
This of course goes on everywhere; we watch people and make up stories about what is going on. We make assumptions about whether a couple are married or dating or having an affair... Or even 'Is she his daughter or his partner?', 'Are they friends or are they gay?' All manner of projections go on within a day mixing with our fellow human beings...
We are curious and inquisitive, no bad thing, but often within the observation we are also carrying a judgement, a disdain, a feeling of 'I would never do that' or a ' I can't believe that is happening...'
None of us know the path each other tread... However much we listen and however good we are at suspending our own experiences; however good we are at recognising that we are looking at life through this filter, we cannot truly know what it is like to be someone else... Which is why we must listen, listen, listen...
To ourselves...!
It is only in truly knowing ourselves that we can even approach really getting into the shoes of another.
If we know ourselves then there will be nothing in another that can loop in with bits we haven't examined in ourselves, in the shadow - and if we learn to love ourselves we won't judge all that emerges from within us.....
And if we do feel any sliver of reactivity to what is going on within another persons life or their actions towards us, the more we practice being self reflective and engage in a self inquiry 'what does this touch in me, what is this to do with me?' the more we will be free and the better our relationships will be...
I am now just back from running seven miles with Anadi - the steel band is playing 'when the saints come marching in' in quite stilted 'beginners learning to play' fashion and they repeat the same bit over and over - and over - and over! For literally hours at a time...
Oh when the saints
Oh when the saints
Oh when the saints go marching in
Oh Lord I want to be in that number
When the saints go marching in
I have grown to love the familiarity of these everyday sounds, the rooster, the steel band, the same tune, which they were playing last year too...
I am 'making up' that they use it for the new players...
The other day some of the proficient players were playing a whole set, it was amazing. Anadi and I stood listening and watching them...
The musicians looked like they loved it, and the sound they were making was amazing!
And they must have all begun with 'when the saints go marching in'.
The ABC of steel band practice?
And once more when I was running today, I continued with the conversation we were having yesterday - 'it's not actually fun for me being a runner unless I'm giving myself the chance to be as good as I can be'.
It's the challenge, the stretch, that striving to be all I can be that gives me the fun.
Whenever I give myself the space to properly train, my body responds in the same way it always has. After an initial month or so of hard graft, it starts to lap it up, I respond and my running body returns!
'I can see that' Anadi said.
'it's happening '!
