Love, Connection And Belief in Ourselves...
I was running alone yesterday in the dark, it was early evening, by the light of the street lamps and the car head lights...
I thought I heard footsteps coming up quite fast behind me, but I wasn't sure... As they got closer I glanced round and saw a man running towards me, he was running faster than me, so I stopped to let him go past...
'No, no, run with me' he said as he approached, I hesitated and then slotted in behind him as he slowed for me to join him....
Once the path got wider I went up alongside him and and we ran along together, he spoke a bit but I wasn't sure what he was saying so I had to keep asking him to say it again...!
'Where are you running to' he asked... 'to the tree' I replied (there are many trees, but my run was an out and back to my tree run!) he accepted my answer and on we jogged...
Something happened in my energy field alongside him, his rhythm was so relaxed, he was just out running. A part of me I didn't know wasn't quite relaxed in my running step, relaxed...
I have spent so much of my time trying to balance myself from my injuries over the years. It has added a stress to my running, or rather revealed where there is stress to be released, but of course this can also be a vicious loop - one that I have been climbing from for many years...
But in that moment, as we joined in the energy of running, I remembered how to let go to a deeper level and to truly experience the zen of running. I ran along in the way this man was running, he was padding along, light on his feet, but in his body too... Just running because he likes to run...
I liked running beside him, his energy relaxed me, and mind body soul felt in a flow...
He showed me the tension I hadn't noticed, that has been hiding! He showed me the teenage julia again!
'I'm only going to that tree' I said, 'because I ran some miles this morning...'
'I ran this morning too', he replied ... 'How far did you run?' I asked - I thought he said 100 kilometres... But I am thinking I misheard him... But maybe I didn't and he had been running all day...
As we approached my tree he turned to me 'you have no friends?'...
'I have a husband' I replied 'Ahh' he said and continued on his run, I stopped and turned for home again....
This morning Anadi and I ran 8 miles together...
My Running at the moment consists of running around ten miles a day with some sustained miles on a Sunday and a few stretches of speed on one of the other days... So 60 - 70 miles a week! And I am in week 3!
I am running minimal speed work as I know from the past that I respond to lots and lots of easy miles to build a strong strong base, the speed comes from this...
As I ran this morning, the energy that my running friend last night had given me was still within my being; my teenage relaxed running has emerged again!
The running felt relaxed and easy. The words of Alan the chiropractor demonstrated to me that I have shifted the part within me that feared I was 'done', irretrievably injured (not from the fall, from the long term imbalance in my left side). His words 'Everything is reversible' support my journey of deeper healing and continued expression through my running legs; the words support my belief and heal the wound that feared irretrievable damage ...
As we ran along the beach today a couple were getting married!
It was a small gathering of two couples (we made the assumption the couples were two sets of parents), a photographer, the person marrying the couple and the bride and groom themselves....
We arrived as the bride was being walked up to the groom by her father, she looked utterly beautiful...
Her husband turned to greet her and they joined hands....
I felt tears coming up inside me....
We decided to go around the back of the gathering - so as not to run across their marriage or get in the way of photos!
As we were running I said to Anadi 'I wonder what is that within me that still cries?'... 'What do you think it is?' he asked...
'I think it is the yearning for love and connection inside me that is still not fully healed, even though we are together....'
When we cry in films, at weddings or at anything our own emotions or wounds or unhealed parts are being touched... It is easy to dismiss them as 'everyone cries at weddings' but as Anadi said 'it didn't make me cry'! :)
As we ran on I said to him... 'I have always known I can heal my body' and that is why I have kept running, even though there has been a lot of limping - it's because I know there is a way to heal the deeper pain...
I have seen the evidence as my body has got freer and freer over the years, and I have got happier...
I have seen it in the lives of my clients; I have had the privilege to witness huge healing and transformation...
And I always believed in love and relationship, it is why I have kept 'trying' - kept having relationships and kept seeking to heal the wound within me that meant the yearning was always there...
And like my deeper fear that my body was irretrievably damaged, I have at times feared I too am irretrievably damaged...
I feared I was too damaged to love properly or run properly....
But... I also believed in healing and so I have never given up; in the way I never ever think a client cannot heal who comes to ask me for guidance....
We all want to be whole and we all want to be loved for who we truly are and so it is worth every second of every day seeking to be who we truly are and giving ourselves what we have always yearned for...
Love connection and belief in ourselves
