To Everything There Is A Time And A Season...
I am in the most heavenly office imaginable. The sea is just across the road, and I am now, except for one other at the bar, the only person here in Lagoon....
Denise the owner is experimenting with creating organic juices, which she anticipates being ready to offer to her customers next year...
So far this morning she has practiced on me, with two juices.... First she brought me a beautiful pale green concoction... A mixture of leaves of beetroot, avocado, spinach, coconut and milk... She then brought me an ABC.... An apple, beetroot and carrot mixture, which was a gorgeous purple in colour.
She served each drink with a little bowl of ground pumpkin and sunflower seeds, which I stirred in for added goodness....
I am in the perfect post run recovery environment imaginable....
I left our apartment at 8am this morning to run some 1000 meter intervals on my seafront running track, which I am now looking out onto from my 'desk'....
I covered 10 miles (16k) in all and finished my cool down, just as Anadi appeared to join me for a swim....
As we stood in the water, up to our knees, I said to him 'I have realised something about myself today... I am an introvert and private person who responds to an audience... I am like the "depressive comedian or actor"...'!
Now, the truth is I am no longer depressive.... But for many years, especially through my twenties, I lived a life with much inner despair, and outer ebullience... I believe it was my love of people and an energy that responds to people; coupled with my ability to teach and heal, that contributed to my own healing...
I recognised very early the truth of what I had read in Matthew's gospel...
"First take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye..."
I knew that I must focus on my own healing, first and foremost, rather than that of the other....
And I don't feel wounded any more... (this doesn't mean I am not conscious of anything that arises for clearing within me!).
I remember reading somewhere, that if we work to unravel our past hurts, and free ourselves from the pain of them - get out of our own patterns and restrictions... If we work to make some meaning to our lives, so that we are able to tell the narrative of our life from an integrated and coherent place... Then we can learn to live in the world as if we had not be wounded or hurt at all...
The increased self love and acceptance that comes from this process, means that we are open to receiving and giving love. This allows us to gradually find that we can live, more joyfully, in the present, rather than from our often painful past....
And so this morning I experienced the freedom and joy of being here, now.... I really enjoyed my interval session. I was mindful of 'easy light smooth' and not attached to the 'fast'... This will comes of itself and will be whatever pace running along on 160 HR brings me...
I felt free and relaxed... I was also aware that I was enjoying the people along the seafront...!
Dwight waved as he arrived at Calypso, Lucia waved as I ran past Lagoon... Denise was waiting down the road for a shop to open, she waved when she spotted me....
The man who puts out free sun loungers and parasols was opening his bar... He waved too.... My audience to respond to and share my energy with...
And the characters I don't know too, arriving early to start bathing in the sun... Already 30 degrees according to the temperature gauge above the pharmacy ....
'I wish I had your energy' a woman said as I reappeared once again at the start of my 'track'.
Anadi agreed with me 'You do rise to an audience' he said, 'you respond because you enjoy connecting with people...'
Later....
I spent all day in Lagoon, writing, answering emails and reading Pru's work experience blog too. Pru is my lovely Goddaughter who came here for a week in April to 'stretch her comfort zone', and work on shifting outdated patterns that weren't supporting her...
And now it is nearly 5pm and I have crossed the road to sit under the shade of a palm tree on the beach...
Anadi has just texted me to say he is on his way to come for a swim... Do I want to swim too?
It looks inviting in this glorious, turquoise, magic lake-like sea.... But I am not sure I want to get wet again...!
It seems only a very short time since we swam this morning...
Time seems stranger and stranger the more I live this life... By cutting loose and travelling light, I feel no constraints of any traditional lifestyle... I am in a space that inquires in each moment, and stays committed to the now.... And so, I find that time has a different feel much of the time. The more I relax, the more I see its stretchy qualities....
I also have experienced more fully the passage from the Ecclesiastes that I love, and find to be true....
There is a rhythm and a time for everything and we need not fret or worry... All we need to do is clear the tension, and trust, and we will discover we have all the time in the world....
'To everything there is a time and a season for every purpose under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to sow and a time to reap.
A time to laugh and a time to cry.
A time to mourn and a time to dance...'
