Be Gentle With Yourself And Others...
A sound at the door... Kathy and I stop mid chant... Did we hear something? We both looked expectantly down the stairs; a tentative knock... Kathy opened the door to a young Spanish woman standing there. She had come to clean her room.. Late today, as it was Sunday.
We suggested she came back in 'una hora'... She looked at her watch rather reluctantly...'Dont worry, it's okay, come in now...' We said, seeing her reluctance...
'We're singing' I tried to explain... She didn't appear to understand and went into the bathroom and bedroom area below us...
Kathy and I looked at one another 'where were we..?' Kathy said... 'The heart...' As 'chant master' I then was then unable to start again immediately due to uncontrollable giggles...
Eventually I was calm and we started at the heart chakra; 'Ahhhhhhh' we chanted, and continued down the body, as we had already 'gone up the chakras', we then moved straight into a meditation...
Half way through I heard movement on the stairs... The young woman was stepping quietly up them, pushing her mop about and holding out a replacement bag for the bin... I got up, took the new bag, gave her the old full one; thanked her and she crept down the stairs and out of the door....
We were concluding a wonderful day in which we had met at 8am and the three of us had trekked over the mountain to Portugos...
We saw hardly another soul, one man running, two guys on their bikes and way below us we spotted two deer, a mother and baby standing in the sunlight and then they jumped softly away over the rocks...
As we approached the water fall we heard voices and found a group of people donning swimming gear and wet suits; one woman was standing in a big bucket...
'Why is she in a bucket?' Anadi mused... Why indeed...?
We may never know...
As we sat eating our tostadas in the dappled sunlight, we explored how different our preferences are... Kathy loves to shop... It isn't something I have ever liked doing... And so we talked about the importance of really and truly learning about one another... Kathy and Anadi have been fearless skiers... I have no desire to ever ski in my life...
By really validating the preferences of one another, we stay connected and engaged...
All children want to know they have permission to be here, that they are wanted and loved; and that their preferences are understood and honoured...
This often wasn't given to us as children, and so we can give it to ourselves and one another now...
When a person expresses something they love to do which we may not; instead of exclaiming 'you're crazy' or 'thats so boring' or any of the immediate responses that can emerge without thought... Instead, we can be curious and discover about the person through what they like to do...
We grow through authentic one on one dialogue; and it is easier to be authentic if what we are saying is heard and validated without judgement or adverse opinion...
Deer totem says it best:
The deer spirit animal will remind you to be gentle with yourself and others. The grace and gentleness characteristic of this spirit animal echo the qualities brought forth when living from the heart.