Transformation
As we lay in the dark last night, I said to Anadi...
'Its funny to think we are lying in a bed somewhere in the world, and no one really knows where we are, and we have nowhere to "go back to"'
And then I was asleep, in this strange bed, in this strange land, with Anadi my twin flame who I only met three years ago...
I remember Ros, my therapist and supervisor, saying to me soon after Anadi and I had decided to shed our possessions, and travel light, that we would be more dependent on one another in doing our leap into 'nomads land'...
And in many ways we are....
I remember asking her, rather horrified...
'Do you mean co dependent ...?'
'No' she replied, 'I just mean you will need to rely on one another...'
And she is right, we have needed to be transparent, and to be open about our own 'stuff', our own 'processes', as we leapt without really knowing which way we were going.....
She counselled us to always keep the space safe, tell each other everything about how we are feeling, and then there will be no shocks...
This has always been my way, and something I have encouraged in my work with people...
Keep the space between one another safe....
Take responsibility for your own feelings, and responsibility too, for anything that arises that needs to be explored or investigated... This way the connection can deepen and grow...
Focus always on our own lessons, not those of the other, and then 'the other' will always feel safe with us...
There will be no criticism, just exploration and a sharing...
There is always a 'need' in criticism anyway, so if we feel critical of our friend, our colleague, our child our partner, then it is worth 'pressing pause' and reflecting on what the 'need' we have in what we are saying....
It can be quite a fascinating process, to investigate our criticism and what we are wanting, what has it touched within us...
This doesn't mean the other's behaviour is 'always okay', but our feeling of judgement is to be investigated always ...!
Lunch has appeared...
I am very ready for it...
We ran a twelve mile loop today to Xlendi bay and back...
On the way, we stopped to get a drink, I was standing on the pavement and two old ladies smiled and nodded and said 'hello'...
Then one came over and got a little face towel from her bag and handed it to me, offering it to wipe my face...
I thanked her a lot, and explained I was 'on a run' and I was just very sweaty and we were on our way to Xlendi and that I would spoil her towel!
She understood, and they watched us disappear down the road, I turned back again after a while and they were still watching...
I waved, they waved...
A brief encounter on the run....
We arrived at Xlendi, where we had originally thought that we would swim... But it was cloudy and the thought of running back wet from the sea, without the hot sun to dry our bodies, didn't appeal...
So we clambered about and looked at the water below, inviting us, but us saying 'no thank you, not today'!
And then a beautiful butterfly flew up to me and landed on my leg, and sat for quite awhile on the edge of my shorts...
It didn't want to move...
'What shall I do?' I asked Anadi..
'You move'...he said...
I moved and the butterfly flew on her way...
This was what I found about the butterfly totem...
'The butterfly is one of the most emblematic totem animals symbolizing personal transformation. Perhaps, this animal totem guides you to be sensitive to your personal cycles of expansion and growth, as well as the beauty of life’s continuous unfolding. An important message carried by the spirit of the butterfly is about the ability to go through important changes with grace and lightness.'
