Julia's Gone Running - Day Fifteen

An Inner Process Being Reflected On The Outside...

I have just been joined by a gentleman in this very big elegant dining room.

I was the lone diner before that.

It is a bit like being on the Marie Celeste.

Everything laid out for breakfast and there was not a soul about when I first arrived, not even the breakfast waitress...

I feel like I am in a play, stage left the waiter has just emerged from a door and walked the length of the dining room with a tray for the gentleman, and now my waitress has walked by me on her way back to the same door...

We have one each!

I am in The Grand Hotel in Eastbourne.

I made it here in the end...

Later

I have just said goodbye to my friend Steph who joined me after I had been working with clients all morning...

I like my office here... The corner sofa in the lounge...

It is different saying goodbye now that I fly off...

There is greater awareness of the connection that never breaks, deeper understanding that there is no parting, that there cannot be any separation.

We are all one, we are all consciousness and love expressing through our human form and mind.

If we only knew this at all times...

Sometimes we think we are our stories and our scripts and the parts we play, and this limits us and means that we believe we can be left or abandoned or forgotten about...

But the more we know that we are consciousness expressing itself the more the possibility to experience true intimacy with others, without the feeling of loss or sadness at parting.

Because there is no parting

I have discovered this truth more profoundly since leaving, because I know I haven't gone anywhere...

This morning I woke early so that I would have time to go to the gym before my 8.30am client...

I had spoken to Anadi last night when I had finished loading my blog at around 11.15...

He was in the flow with his programming and I guessed he would be up very late...

He is an owl and I am a lark by nature :)

The gym was alive with larks this morning...

Lots of activity at 6.30am

I ran five miles on the treadmill. I felt fitter than last week.

The television was on, which felt intrusive, so I put my music on in my head with ear phones.

The sound of the chanting in my head, and the energy of activity around me, the colour in the gym, the noises of machinery moving soared my spirits

I became aware as I ran, of the power of my beliefs and how subtle and deep within me they are.

The whispers of my voices and the stories that could hold me or release me are quite quietly spoken, so that if I didn't listen carefully I might miss the messages of my body and the work I need to do to free myself

When my body doesn't hurt, when the training results demonstrate form, then it is easy to believe.

When my body hurts I doubt everything...

I established this because in the first ten minutes my body felt achy and I was aware of the stories that can kick in about lack of belief in any future possibility.

As the body warmed up and naturally wanted to extend and run faster, then possibility opened up ahead.

And so the practice is to clear the tension in the body and in the mind, in every step.

It is always an inner process being reflected on the outside

Make an inner change, release some tension, clear some space and this is reflected in the outer realms.

It cannot be any other way .